Since openly discussing my depressed mood with friends and family, I have been overwhelmed with kindness. It has really helped me turn a corner. Thank you.
But I can't depend on others to elevate my mood. "God helps those who help themselves". That is exactly what I've been working on. I'm taking time out of the day for myself, I've scheduled Kara to spend the night away at least once a week, I will soon be starting some meditation work and tonight was my first prenatal yoga class. I was in a class when I was pregnant with Kara and it literally saved my life! During L & D, you never know what's gonna happen and I'm not taking any chances this time.
I called around to a bunch of yoga studios here in ojai to find a prenatal yoga class. Surprisingly, it was hard to find one. A lot of yoga teachers offer private lessons, but I really wanted to be around other pregnant women. A shared experience and a place to share stories. Pregnancy sometimes has felt isolating (being restricted in things you can't do, eat, drink, etc.) I'm looking to be around others who are in the current state that I'm in.
So long story short, I found this yoga studio up here that offers the yoga but I would be working with the instructors wife (who is also pregnant). I thought, "great! This would be fun. A private lesson with someone who is currently pregnant". The class is a restorative class and I would be working with the wife on the side. We would follow the instructors poses but modify them a bit.
They told me to arrive 15 minutes early so we could go over any medical issues. So I show up @ 5:45 p.m. sharp in anticipation for a 6:00 p.m. class. I walk in to a room full of people meditating and I'm confused. The instructor sees me and quickly leads me back outside so as not to continue to disturb the class. He tells me the class started at 5:30 p.m.! I Hate Being Late! I would rather not go to an event than show up late. It's something I can't stand! So immediately I'm embarrassed and mortified. I can't believe I got the time confused.
So the instructor talked with me a bit about my pregnancy and invited me to stay for the class. I walk into the room and have to cross over a few people to put my purse in the cubbies at the end of the room. All the while the old wood floors are creaking under me. Ugh! "I'm so sorry!"
I'm super rusty on my possess and find that I'm not as limber as I used to be. I'm all over the place. The wife did a great job of teaching me and instructing me, but every so often the instructor had to pause his class and come over to help me. I was a mess. "Hi I'm Kristin. It's not enough that I interrupted your meditation, but now I'm so bad at yoga that I'm stealing your instructor and your class time. And you want me back next week?!?!"
These posses were not what I'm used to. I guess I chose a yoga studio that focused on a specific type of yoga. I don't know. I typed in "prenatal yoga, ojai, ca" into google's search bar and this is what I found.
Anyways. I was trying really hard to be a good sport. But I think what did it for me was when I had the male instructor stand over me to reposition my hips and he had on some really tight short shorts! Yikes! I don't think I've been that up close and personal with my husbands..... you know. I just closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.
I paid for the class and a few more sessions. I'd like to go back but I don't know if it's for me. There's another yoga studio that is only for pregnant women, so I may check that out. It's in Ventura so it will be a little bit of a drive. I'll see.
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