We've all heard of postpartum depression but many might not be familiar with prepartum depression. The signs and symptoms can be the same, but occurring during pregnancy.
I feel like I have this.
It's difficult to talk about it because I don't care to share something so personal, but I hoping by talking about it this will help me to cope with it.
This pregnancy hasn't been easy. Not so much physically, but emotionally. I haven't been feeling all that great. I'm irritable, depressed mood, lack of interest in things, little to no motivation, mild insomnia, changes in appetite, and low frustration tolerance. Now these are all probably totally typical symptoms for a pregnant lady chasing after a toddler all day, yes it is. But it's not me. I know how I normally feel and this isn't it. I can tell myself that I feel this way due to a chemical imbalance in my brain due to the change in hormones caused by pregnancy. Yes. That's the rational side, but it doesn't help me to cope with it. It just explains it. This is good because it's what I tell Justin so he doesn't take it personally. Poor guy works so hard to make me smile or laugh, he's my rock right now and I love him for that.
I just don't feel right in this pregnancy. I'm almost 10 weeks. I'm hoping that things start to change around 12 weeks, after the first trimester.
I've talked to Justin about the way I've been feeling. I'm starting to go on walks by myself, which seem to help. I'm planning on doing prenatal yoga again. And a few other things.
Recently we've done a lot of really fun things. We had a great trip to Monterey, we've had friends over and gotten together with family. We've really been spending a lot of time with Justin's brother and his family. In the moment I'm happy and relaxed, but then the day ends and I'm back in my mood. Good things don't last very long. We'll be heading to Mammoth over the holiday weekend and I'm looking forward to that.
I was chatting with my brother-in-law last night when they came over for dinner and a swim. I was telling him how it feels like my life has stopped. I love being home with Kara and taking time off to raise her. Yet at the same time it's been a real adjustment from the pace I'm used to keeping. I've always been looking in the future. Next class, next school, next program, next job. Always looking ahead and working really hard to get there. Now, the days are the same. There's not much change to them.
With the summer coming to a close, I am looking forward to getting back into a routine. Kara will start her gym class and school again. So that will be good.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
8W6D
Today, I'm 8 weeks 6 days. I started writing in my blog a few weeks ago, but wanted to wait to publish them until close friends and family knew.
We already had our first ultrasound and got to hear the heartbeat. Kara was spending the night with Gramps and GiGi, so Justin and I had alone time for this appointment. Wow! It doesn't seem that long ago that I was here for Kara. It's crazy how quickly time passes.
Here it is!!!! This is a much better photo of this baby at this age then with Kara. Her photo was all weird and looked like a deformed Gumby doll.
We already had our first ultrasound and got to hear the heartbeat. Kara was spending the night with Gramps and GiGi, so Justin and I had alone time for this appointment. Wow! It doesn't seem that long ago that I was here for Kara. It's crazy how quickly time passes.
Here it is!!!! This is a much better photo of this baby at this age then with Kara. Her photo was all weird and looked like a deformed Gumby doll.
Heartbeat is good! My mom cried when we sent this video to her. Both of our families are thrilled and excited!
6W6D
I woke up this morning feeling like a new person! I fell greeeeeeat!!!! Since exactely 6W6D, I have been feeling awful. The morning sickness or "all day sickness" was a little hard to handle. One morning I really thought I was going to loose my breakfast. I splashed some cold water on my face and had to sit down. It was a rough time.
But today I feel back to normal. I've been really working on eating small frequent meals. Last night before bed I had a small snack and that seemed to help the nausea through the night. I find that if I go to bed neasaous then I wake up naseaus and feel that way the entire day. Yea, sounds like an easy enough plan but the challenge is to do something....anything to reduce the nausea.
My choice in snacks definitely replicates my previous pregnancy. My new things is:
But today I feel back to normal. I've been really working on eating small frequent meals. Last night before bed I had a small snack and that seemed to help the nausea through the night. I find that if I go to bed neasaous then I wake up naseaus and feel that way the entire day. Yea, sounds like an easy enough plan but the challenge is to do something....anything to reduce the nausea.
My choice in snacks definitely replicates my previous pregnancy. My new things is:
- Sharp cheddar cheese
- Cold pickles
- Peanut butter Ritz crackers
- Large glass of apple juice
That hits the spot every time
A pregnant lady's favorite thing...
Food.
Since before I found out I was pregnant this second time, I have been so hungry. Two days before I found out I was pregnant, we all went to Nat & Kayleigh's wedding. I ate at the wedding but was starving after. Before heading to my sister's house I stopped at McDonald's. (Looking back, probably not the healthiest choice but I didn't know I was pregnant). I get back to my sister's place and scarf down an entire combo. Tiffany ordered pizza for David for when he gets home from work. The pizza comes and I eat two slices. Justin said he's never seen me eat that much in my life! We joked that I was pregnant and this was the beginning of the cravings. Lol! I don't know if it's cravings but I was damn hungry.
Since finding out I am pregnant, I have been eating healthier.
Sunday:
Tuesday:
Since before I found out I was pregnant this second time, I have been so hungry. Two days before I found out I was pregnant, we all went to Nat & Kayleigh's wedding. I ate at the wedding but was starving after. Before heading to my sister's house I stopped at McDonald's. (Looking back, probably not the healthiest choice but I didn't know I was pregnant). I get back to my sister's place and scarf down an entire combo. Tiffany ordered pizza for David for when he gets home from work. The pizza comes and I eat two slices. Justin said he's never seen me eat that much in my life! We joked that I was pregnant and this was the beginning of the cravings. Lol! I don't know if it's cravings but I was damn hungry.
Since finding out I am pregnant, I have been eating healthier.
Sunday:
- Smoothie
- Steak, green beans and pasta
- Ham, cheese and spinach omelet with fresh OJ
- Chicken sandwich with water
- Almonds as a snack
- Grilled salmon, couscous, broccoli w/ cheese and an artichoke
Tuesday:
- Quaker oatmeal cereal (This cereal contains 100% DV of Folic Acid)
- Omelet again, with ham, cheese, onions and spinach with fresh squeezed OJ
- Low-fat Greek vanilla yogurt, granola and organic blackberries for snack
- Grilled chicken wrap- cheese, onions, beans, corn, tomato and spinach.
- Quaker oatmeal cereal
- Grilled chicken salad- leafy greens, heirloom tomatoes, avocado, light vinaigrette dressing and shaved parmesan cheese
- Pink moment strawberry ice cream- guilty snack
- Home-made margarrita pizzas on the BBQ
- Low-fat Greek vanilla yogurt, granola and organic blackberries
6 Weeks
Today I'm 6 weeks pregnant.
My friend T and I have been hitting the hills in her neighborhood hard. She's working to loose her baby weight and I'm working to stay healthy while gaining the baby weight. Today's walk kicked my butt! I slept on the couch with Kara for almost 2 hours. I had planned to unpack from our weekend getaway to San Diego and do a ton of laundry, but none of that happened.
Morning sickness starts around 6 weeks and I am sure feeling it. Almost like clock work I started to feel really terrible. Mostly in the afternoon. Salty things seem to help.
My sister-in-law told me that the second pregnancy is different from the first one. Especially with a toddler running around. She said that it's a challenge to find as much down time as before.
For me this time around is already so different. I'm not working two jobs and going to school. I also have the time to cook for myself and my family. I remember being so nauseous and so hungry when I was pregnant with Kara, but too exhausted at the end of the day to cook anything. Thankfully I employed my mom to cook for me and that saved my life.
This time around I know what to expect and now have different fears. I've already had dreams that we didn't make it to the hospital in time. My nightmare is that I will go into labor at home, during that day and Justin is way out in Oxnard. I'm worried about finding someone to watch Kara and get to the hospital before the baby comes. The doctor already said that this pregnancy could be similar to my previous one and that I could progress quickly. But they can't really say for sure. That worries me.
My friend T and I have been hitting the hills in her neighborhood hard. She's working to loose her baby weight and I'm working to stay healthy while gaining the baby weight. Today's walk kicked my butt! I slept on the couch with Kara for almost 2 hours. I had planned to unpack from our weekend getaway to San Diego and do a ton of laundry, but none of that happened.
Morning sickness starts around 6 weeks and I am sure feeling it. Almost like clock work I started to feel really terrible. Mostly in the afternoon. Salty things seem to help.
My sister-in-law told me that the second pregnancy is different from the first one. Especially with a toddler running around. She said that it's a challenge to find as much down time as before.
For me this time around is already so different. I'm not working two jobs and going to school. I also have the time to cook for myself and my family. I remember being so nauseous and so hungry when I was pregnant with Kara, but too exhausted at the end of the day to cook anything. Thankfully I employed my mom to cook for me and that saved my life.
This time around I know what to expect and now have different fears. I've already had dreams that we didn't make it to the hospital in time. My nightmare is that I will go into labor at home, during that day and Justin is way out in Oxnard. I'm worried about finding someone to watch Kara and get to the hospital before the baby comes. The doctor already said that this pregnancy could be similar to my previous one and that I could progress quickly. But they can't really say for sure. That worries me.
Round Two
On Sunday we found out we were pregnant!
Justin and I are so happy and can't wait to expand our family. This time around I wanted to find out if I was pregnant in a different way than the first time. Justin knew that I was late and that I planned to test over the weekend. We had a booked weekend and the only free day was Sunday. This time I told him that I wanted him to look at it.
Sunday morning I woke up and was really excited about what could happen. I woke up before anyone else and jumped in the shower. I had some time in the morning to myself so I made a huge cup of tea (in anticipation of testing) and relaxed on the couch to watch some TV. After about half an hour Kara woke up and we got to snuggle and watch Bubble Guppies downstairs. By this time the tea was kicking in and I needed to pee. Justin woke up and came downstairs to see us girls. He and Kara wrestled for a bit while I threw a load of laundry in the wash. After wrestle mania was over I told Justin that I wanted to test but I wanted him to look at it. He loved that idea and the three of us went upstairs into our bedroom. I sat Kara on the bed while I used the bathroom. Justin was reading the box to figure out the directions. I told him that it's digital and you can just read it. Ha! I'm not gonna have a guy try and figure out what two little lines means. I made it really simple for him. Lol!
I left the stick on the bathroom counter and sat on the bed with Kara. Justin went to check the test and it was still "thinking." Then he went back in and all I heard was, "Woohoo!" He came out with the biggest smile on his face and the test in hand. He said, "we're pregnant!" "Kara! Your gonna have a little brother or sister!" Kara looks up from the iPad and nods. Ha ha! She's probably thinking, "ok Dad. Thanks, but can my new brother or sister come over and play after my show is over."
I was so happy and in a little disbelief. I had a feeling that I was pregnant but I didn't have those early pregnancy signs that I had with Kara. With Kara, two days before I found out I was pregnant my breasts were swollen and sore. I kept waiting for that to happen this time. Plus with Kara I didn't have any cramping or feeling bloated and that's how I've been feeling these past 5 days. I guess every pregnancy is so different.
Back to the story- Justin came over to me and gave me a big hug and kiss. We were so happy and thankful that it didn't take as long as with Kara. We had been planning on trying back in February. I visited my OB and began taking prenatal vitamins. March I went off the pill and in May we used backup methods. We started officially trying in June and in July we were pregnant! I am due middle to late March of 2014. I was keeping track of my cycles so I know the exact day I ovulated. We know the due date but I want to have my first appointment and confirm it with my doctor.
Here we go....round two!
:)
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Imaginative Play
Kara's imagination has really taken off. A very important developmental milestone and an important diagnostic criteria to rule out pervasive developmental disorders. My father and I continually assess her on these things. Ha ha! Not intentionally or formally, but we can't help it.
Over the weekend I was pulling a few things out of our attic and found my old collection of Barbies. I called Kara over and showed them to her. I loved playing with Barbie when I was a kid. I still had the Ken doll, tons of clothing and accessories, and Barbie's cat. I showed Kara how to play with her and all the different outfits she could be dressed in. Kara loved it and immediately started playing.
Every since Barbie was resurrected from the attic, she has been Kara's #1 play toy. She pretends that Barbie is sleepy and will give Barbie her stuffed bear to sleep with. Then Kara goes into the kitchen and grabs one of my dish towels to use as a blanket. Kara tucks Barbie in for her morning nap and kisses her on the cheek. Then Kara comes running over to me so I can see Barbie. I of course thinks its the cutest things and praise and kiss her all over. We do this a few times a day, but this is what childhood is about. Repetitive play and mimicking behaviors. We have a great time playing.
Over the weekend I was pulling a few things out of our attic and found my old collection of Barbies. I called Kara over and showed them to her. I loved playing with Barbie when I was a kid. I still had the Ken doll, tons of clothing and accessories, and Barbie's cat. I showed Kara how to play with her and all the different outfits she could be dressed in. Kara loved it and immediately started playing.
Every since Barbie was resurrected from the attic, she has been Kara's #1 play toy. She pretends that Barbie is sleepy and will give Barbie her stuffed bear to sleep with. Then Kara goes into the kitchen and grabs one of my dish towels to use as a blanket. Kara tucks Barbie in for her morning nap and kisses her on the cheek. Then Kara comes running over to me so I can see Barbie. I of course thinks its the cutest things and praise and kiss her all over. We do this a few times a day, but this is what childhood is about. Repetitive play and mimicking behaviors. We have a great time playing.
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